Anybody who tries to give a retailer advice on Thanksgiving week is either braver than I am or crazy. You're exhausted, anxious, and running on adrenaline whether the outlook for your holiday business is bright or worrisome.
So, far be it from me to intrude on your holiday stress, other than to offer you something that you can really use right now: an absolutely fool-proof recipe for the most amazing turkey you'll ever eat. The recipe is fully optimized (as a marketer would say), with the details perfected and results measured over many years.
The trick here is that you have to plan ahead - you'll need to buy the bird on Monday and start prepping it on Tuesday night so that you can enjoy it on Thursday. It is SO worth it.
Monday: Buy a fresh turkey, skip the processed/flavored stuff. Just a plain fresh turkey, about 14-16 lbs.
Tuesday evening: Mix one cup of kosher salt and one cup of sugar in a pot large enough to hold the turkey (I use a large lobster pot) and add 1 gallon or more of cold water (enough to submerge the bird). Stir the water until the salt and sugar have dissolved. Add the turkey (breast down). Cover the pot and refrigerate overnight. If the pot won't fit in your refrigerator, place it outside (assuming you live in a cool/cold climate).
Wednesday morning: Remove the turkey from the water and pat dry. Place the turkey on a large platter and refrigerate, uncovered all day (at least 8-10 hours), allowing the skin to dry.
Wednesday evening: Remove the turkey from the refrigerator. In a food processor, mix 3-4 large garlic cloves, and the leaves from 3 large sprigs of fresh rosemary and a small amount of olive oil until a paste forms - add more olive oil if the mixture is too dry. Coat your hands with a small amount of olive oil. Gently, lift the skin of the turkey and run your hands under the skin across the breast and thigh - be careful not to tear the skin. Place some of the garlic mixture on your hands, lift the skin and spread the mixture over the breast and thigh. Place any remaining mixture in the turkey cavity. Take 1/3 to 1/2 pound of sliced prosciutto and cut it into small pieces. Lifting the skin, spread the prosciutto pieces over the breast and thigh, on top of the rosemary and garlic mixture. Place any remaining prosciutto pieces in the cavity. Slice a head of garlic across the top, exposing the open cloves. Place the garlic head inside the cavity of the turkey. Wrap the turkey in plastic wrap, place it on a tray and refrigerate overnight. Yes, your refrigerator will smell like garlic the next day. It's worth it.
Thursday: Remove the turkey from the refrigerator and remove the plastic wrap. Place the bird in a large roasting pan. Pierce two small lemons with a fork and place them inside the cavity. Slice two heads of garlic across the top to expose the open cloves, drizzle them with olive oil, and place them in the roasting pan beside the turkey. Close the cavity with trussing needles and tie the legs together. Tuck the wings under the bird.
Preheat the oven to 450. Rub the outside of the turkey with olive oil and season with pepper. Turn the turkey breast side down and roast for 30-45 minutes. Turn the turkey breast side up. Reduce the oven temperature to 375. Continue roasting, basting occasionally with chicken broth until the turkey is done, about 2 hours (some of the pan juices should be brown and the leg should jiggle easily when you move it). Remove the turkey from the oven and allow it to rest 30 minutes before carving.
While the turkey is resting, you can make the ultimate side dish: take 3-4 roasted red garnet yams (you can roast them while the turkey is cooking) and remove the flesh, placing it in a saucepan over medium heat. Add a few splashes of cream and stir until the yams are a smooth, creamy consistency. Just before serving, add about 2 teaspoons of white truffle oil to taste. Serve with the turkey.
Friday: The leftovers (if there are any) are actually even better than the freshly cooked bird. Enjoy them - if you're a retailer, you probably have to work today and you deserve a good lunch.
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